Virtual Peer Review Scripts

Jose Ramirez
1.) The part that I like most about your essay are the parts about you accepting and being conscious of the fact that reading and writing will play an influential role despite the lack of desire to practice these things.
2.) From reading your essay the information I gathered and understood made me think that academics, reading, and writing are important in your life and will continue to be important because of the adverse background you derived from. I feel that the prompt was well addressed and stated throughout your essay because of your demonstration of how important a role reading and writing has played in your life.
3.) The part in the essay that I felt may have needed more detail was the third to last paragraph. How does this adversity pertain to the need to continue writing and reading more? I felt that it was a good example but needed just a little more detail for clarity.
4.) I feel that at times in the essay you changed your view on literature to opposite beliefs and it confused me. One paragraph you seemed to enjoy and appreciate literature and then in other paragraphs you had no interested in it but you did have accept the fact that it is necessary in your life.
5.) While your essay had a good intro and a hook I difficult to spot a definitive thesis statement. I felt that I was able to spot what you were getting at in the essay but I had to search for it rather than being informed in the early stages of your essay. The part that seemed to reappear throughout your essay was the acceptance of having to utilize literacy skills in your life. In my opinion I just found it a bit peculiar to read the last sentence of the second paragraph. It just seemed to contain unneeded information. Other than that it appeared to be well written and in depth with the examples.

Ivan Ramirez
1.) The part I like most in your paper are the clear and concrete examples that you use to demonstrate what experiences have helped shaped your literacy skills throughout your life.
2.)a.) After reading your essay I felt that it was about the way you learned from your experiences in life and moved forward as a writer and reader.
b.) While the examples used in the essay give a good understanding about what influenced you in your life I feel that after a little more detail of the second and third paragraphs that the essay will be much stronger.
c.) Your paper does address the prompt to a certain degree but may need a little more detail about the way it will influence you as a writer later in life.
3.) I feel that the first few sentences in the third paragraph need a little bit of revision or rewording to allow the reader a better understanding of your experiences.
4.) While your examples are good you seem to be missing a little bit of detail in the middle paragraphs of your essay to give solid evidence of your experiences and how they have helped you.
5.) Again, your essay contains very good examples and is easy for the reader to identify. However, at the same time I feel a few more examples that are maybe more in depth would be beneficial to your essay. For example, in the third paragraph you talk about many friends influencing you but don't go on to talk the other friends that played minor roles in your literacy experiences. If smaller experiences are discussed perhaps it will provide a bit more bulk to your essay and more evidence to support your claims about your friends helping you out.